Adios Final/ First Welcomes

Hello everyone!
First, I want to thank everyone for their patient anticipation for my last newsletter. I have struggled to put into words what I want to put on this last newsletter and now it is VERY late.

I have now been home for four months!!! So I will give you a life update from the last time you heard from me:

1. I left my community in Puebla on July 2nd. For a week before I left, the Germans, CIPAAC and my host family did sad heartfelt goodbyes. The Germans and I prepared a photo journal of our time (most photos take by myself because I like to take them!) and letters to the next volunteers. For my last Friday night in Puebla, the Germans, a Mexican CIPAAC volunteer, and I went out for dinner, and a little night life. But the bars closed at 11:00pm! This is because there is a in Mexico that all establishments that serve alcohol must close 48 hours before their elections and they may not sell any alcohol until after the elections. The presidential elections happen every 6 years and always on the first of July, even when it is on a Sunday like this year. (Pictured below is: Nora, Lara, Luise (aka Luigi) and me at the church on top of the hill in Cholula, before we went out for my last Mole meal.)
   
2. For several days, the Mexico cohort was together in Mexico City to process the year, spend time together, and to prepare for the transition back to the United States. We talked about how we would respond to friends family and strangers that would ask us about our year and experience in Mexico. The most common question is still after four months is, "Did you feel safe?" and the answer is "Yes." This final time together was emotionally and physically both draining and life giving. Those days were to prepare us to fulfill our final mission to go back to the United States and share what we learned about accompaniment and service to our community here. (Picture: We had the opportunity to get out of the Lutheran Center (the place we were staying) and explore parts of the the city not all of us had seen yet. We went to Xochimilco (pronounced: so-chee-mill-co) for lunch in the markets, a little shopping, and a ride in the canals. In the picture below is a view of the canal. There are hundreds of boats out at a time. There are boats with entire parties of people, sometimes there would be two or more boats would be tied together so that people on them could use both to walk around on. There are others that are smaller that have men and women that are cooking and selling food. There are others also that have nicknacks that you can buy. It is truly like a Mexican street but on the river!)
   

   
3. I got home July 6th. I started the journey at 6am all by myself at the airport with all my stuff. (I tell you this because it was stressful with two large bags that I just could not get under the weight limit to save my life! Eventually the attendant behind the counter was so annoyed that she just let me go with a bag just a tiny bit over weight.) On the first flight I was pretty relaxed, and mostly tired from being awake the whole night before with my cohort in Mexico. The second flight I made friends with the folks sitting around me, particularly poor man that sat in the window seat next to me. Throughout the flight we talked about policies in the United States that had changed, the things I missed about the United States, what I would miss from Mexico, my favorite foods, all the tough and easy questions. I pitied the man sitting next to me because you have not seen excitement until you've seen a Minnesotan that has not seen a lake in nearly a year see a lake from the sky! I was leaning over the aisle and the man in the window seats to get a good look at them! You can see below the photo I took of the sight. Most people on the flight were flying into MSP were coming home from a nice vacation, so this sight of the lakes were a sight that they dreaded, but not me! I will forever remember this moment and the feeling of home with those big blue pits below. 
   
4. A couple of weeks after being home my brother and sister-in-law welcomed into the world their first child and my first niece! I had the pleasure of meeting this bundle of joy just a few hours after she was born. Her name is Remmington. I am so proud to be her Aunt (though my sister keeps telling me that she is the only aunt... She is 5 years old, so she will learn.)
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
5. I had the great privilege to spend a little time to be home and to get re-acclimated to being in America again and speaking in English! There was a lot of Spanish coming out of my mouth that month. During that month, in between spending time with family and friends, I was filling out job applications and going on job interviews. After several "No's" from Guardian ad Litem positions, I was fortunate to be accepted at my old high school as a full time Para. I am now working as a SpED Para for Anoka High School and I am really enjoying it. The work is similar to the work that I was doing in Mexico, working with persons with different abilities and assisting them in their daily routines, but there are also a lot different to this position that keeps me all the more interested. I primarily work with one student at Anoka that has a hearing impairment. I would with her for two class periods as her captioner. As her captioner, I attempt to type out everything that is said in the class. The things I type go directly to her Ipad through the program that we use. This way she is able to participate in her high school as much as possible. Her classmates are fascinated by what gets typed out and often like to challenge me by saying ridiculous things that I don't necessarily have to type, but do because I feel like it adds to her relationship with her classmates. (Pictured below is myself and several other YAGM alum (Left to right: Karleigh, Brittany, Amanda and me) at an even for the Lutheran Social Services' Gala. They wanted more young folks in the room, so there was an open invitation to attend for free for YAGM and other young adults involved in the church. We had a good time talking about our experiences in our countries of service and the transitions that we were and are still going through.) 
   
6. Now going forward, my job at Anoka is not the place I want to be forever, but it is the right place for me right now. While on the border, my cohort had the experience of witnessing my passion for case law and got me to realize it too. So, I am currently studying for the LSAT and plan to take it in January. I hope to start law school and pursuing that passion next fall. 

Thank you, as always, for all of your support! If I have not seen you in person since I have gotten home, please reach out! I have lots of stories and pictures to share. 

May Newletter

Hello Friends and Family,

I have been experiencing many frustrations and internet problems while using Mailchimp, so I have decided that I will eliminate this frustration by using my blog to send my newsletter. I invite you to take a look at some of my other blogs as well. If you have any questions about my year or about my blog or comments (constructive and positive are the most well received) I welcome these as well, or if you would like to email me with a hello that is also welcomed.

I always start my newsletter with my favorite mountains. Popo and Itza. This is a view from a church in Cholula that my Dad and I went to his first day in Cholula.

These last few months have been an absolute blur. Since my last newsletter my father visited me, I celebrated my 23rd birthday, I took a trip with my friends and fellow CIPAAC volunteers to Queretaro, I fufilled my dream of seeing Oaxaca, and just recently visited a friend and fellow YAGMexico in Cuetzalan, Puebla. Next week the YAGMexico cohort will be going to Cuernavaca for our second to last retreat. Thats right you read that right, second to LAST. I cannot believe how fast time has gone and yet also look forward to the surprises that are bound to occur in the remaining two months.

Most of my family at our house for comida to celebrate my birthday. Left to right: Danny, Tía Ale, me, Papá Juan, Mamá Janeth.

Because of the pending retreat and looming departure date, I have been thinking a lot about where I see God, beauty, lessons, etc., however you choose to interpret the world. I interpret beauty, lessons, wonder etc. as synonomous with God.

First and foremost, I see love within my family. I am blessed to have a mama, papa, two brothers, an aunt (tia) that lives with us, two aunts that do not live with us, a grandma, and three uncles (all don't live with us). My host family is much larger than this in reality, but these are the people that I have seen the most and I have built a relationship with. These relationships will be with me forever and have made me feel loved throughout my time here. My host parents have been married for 18 years! And were together for six years before they were married. They love each other very much and you can feel it when you are around them. They are not the couple to show much public displays of affection, but they will hold hands with each other and give the occational kiss. Within my host brothers, they are starting to grow out of saying they love each other, but they show it by including each other in activities, and picking on each other. With me my host parents show me their love with their patience. They have a lot of it at times for my lack of communication in Spanish, or when I don't know a key cultural norm that I am bending or broke. My host brothers show their love for me the same way I show my own blood brother, picking on and the occasional punch.

These other goofy humans are another family I have here in Mexico, the Germans, they are part of my CIPAAC family. 

I see and experience wonder in the new and old experiences in Mexico. I have the incredible pleasure to live in a place that I can see some of the most important mountains in Mexico. I know that there are other YAGMexico that have beautiful views, and mountains. I saw some last weekend when I went to Cuetzalan to visit one of my cohort. But I am in love with Popo and Itza. There is a legend associated with them. In the legend they were two young natives that were in love but Popocatepelt had to leave to go to war with the promise that when he retrurned he would marry Itzaccihuatl. But while the army was away another man was jealous of the love between Itza and Popo and told her that Popo had died on the battlefield. Izta died of a broken heart. When Popo returned he was angered by her death and carried her body to the top of a mountain and laid her there. Now he sits next to her still burning with anger. (If you would like to read the full story please follow this link: The Legend of Popocatepetl and Iztaccihuatl) It is for their story and for what they represent to me, home, that makes them so special to me. when I am away for any reason, I know I am close to being home again when I see those mountains. It's like the first sign pointing in the direction of Anoka when I would drive home from college.

Another amazing rock formation in Mexico. This was shown to me on a Bays tour in Huatulco, Oaxaca.

I wonder in the way every Mexican I know well, knows the lyrics to songs that are very very old. Mariachi songs, or rancho songs, as soon as they are put on they are singing along. Just the other day the family was sitting at the table for comida and a song that everyone knew came on and everyone at the table started to sing or hum along.

Magic is Real

Mexico finally had our day light savings and I have decided that Day Light Savings is magic. For the last 4 monthes, being home before sun down has been like Cinderella racing to get home in time. I was constantly worried how I would get home when I was planning to stay out after the sun set, this was the subject of many disagreements with my host family because I wanted to be out longer. I had to give up a dance class because it started too late and I was walking to my home from the bus stop when it was really dark. Even coming home from work, I was walking home in the dark. Now after the time change I have regained a level of freedom that I have very much missed.

It is amazing how fast that all chances with just a little change of the time. It's Magic!

I had never noticed how life really changes with day light savings. I always associated the change of lifestyle with the sun being out longer and later, as much as this is true for summer time, it has not been as prevelant in the spring. Day light savings is magic.

Travel reflections

Titles have never been my strong suit.

I have been completely fortunate to be able to travel this year and have mobility monetarily and physically to do so.

I have been battling internally with the privilege I have, that has allowed me to travel. I live in a community that does not always have the opportunity to go to other countries, or even other states within Mexico. Many people in my community were asking me to put them in my luggage, and they actually seemed slightly serious.

Normally my host family has been able to travel and see other parts of the country, but do to personal changes in their lives that is no longer posible. My host family is amazing and very supportive of my trip to Oaxaca or other solo trips I have in mind. Though they are not able to go themselves, they encouraged me to go and listen to me for weeks talk about the things I was going to do and the places I was going to go.

I am also fortunate to have a worksite that is equaly excited for me to see more of their country. I have been asked many times by my coworkers where I will or have gone over long breaks or weekends, and have disappointed them when I tell them, I have no plans or did not go anywhere.

All in all I can come to no conclusion but to acknowlegde my privilege to travel, and for a host of other things. I cannot change it, nor change the situation of those around me. My next step is to walk with my community, I do not have much time left here in Mexico but the metaphorical sidewalk we walk now will not end in July. The people I have met, have impacted my life in a lasting way. My privilege has allowed me to meet them, and to learn from them. Lessons like appreciating time spent just sitting together, or filling a need where it is needed whether that need is large and takes a life time or a small need that can offered and completed in an afternoon. 

Travel Blog #2

Sorry Travel Blog #1 has not been finished yet but #2 is.

I have just come home from my trip to Oaxaca. Oaxaca is a state in Mexico and I traveled to 3 cities: Oaxaca City, Huatulco and Puerto Escondido. If you have never heard of Oaxaca or do not know how to say it this is how you say it: wa-ha-ka. It is an indigenous word either from the Zapotecas or the Mixtec. Oaxaca is in the southern Pacific Ocean side of Mexico. It is full of culture, food, and HEAT. I felt like I was going to melt every day.

I started my trip with my friend and fellow YAGMexico, Carlee. She and I traveled to Oaxaca City from Puebla. We spent about a day and a half there and did a lot of walking. We went on a free walking tour of the town. If you go to Oaxaca I would 100% recommend this tour to start you out. She also has a facebook page: Free Walking Tour Oaxaca. She took us around the city to some of the lesser known places to go to. She told us about cacoa, coffee and mezcal. She has a passion for her city, learning English, and meeting people from all over the world. I was truly inspired by her. We tried mezcal, and it is most definitly not my favorite alcoholic drink. It comes from the agave like tequila but can have a much higher alcohol content. Mezcal is also not a shot type drink. You do NOT drink it as fast as you can. It is a sipping drink.

Oaxaca City is so beautiful and colorful. I was so amazed by it that I came back a day early from Puerto Escondido. Oaxaca is where many of the alebrijes you find throughout Mexico are made. Alebrijes are wood carvings of animals, that they paint with wild colors, some animals are given wings or breath fire. Some of the alebrijes are dragon like characters, or other fictional characters that remind me of the monsters from the book Where the Wild Things Go. In Oaxaca there are several collections of artists that have gathered to have a store front of their own so they could cut the middle man out of their sales. There is even a guild of just female artists that have a store near the Templo de Santo Domingo. They are not just Alebrijes. They range from skills with rugs, weavings, paintings, leather work, needle work to make embroidered shirts. I was told that an even better place to get these art pieces is from the extieror towns aroudn Oaxaca, where most of the artists live. There you can talk to the artist directly about their work.

Carlee and I infront of the Oaxaca sign.

After Oaxaca City, Carlee and I went to Huatulco (said just like is it spelled without the 'h'). Huatulco is a beach town on the Pacific with a ton of bays and shares a border with a nature reserve. Carlee is from San Diego, California, so she was excited to see her ocean. Carlee was supressing, I think, much of the excitement she was feeling to see the ocean because when we finally go to it she was like a little girl b lining it to her favorite swing at recess. I was seeing a new person emerge from her. Actually not a person, a fish, or the little mermaid emerged from her. I saw the actual little mermaid. It was amazing to see.

During our time there we got to go on a bays tour. We got so burnt! I am now pealing, and not just from the time in Huatulco. I got burnt in Puerto Escondido and at my host home. (One thing I have for sure learned is that I need to wear sunscreen that is higher because the sun here is much more powerful than in Minnesota.) But being burnt was not the only thing I enjoyed on this trip. We got to see a mother and baby whale and I saw a turtle (I was the only one to see the turtle but I swear it was there!). The tour we went on was in Spanish, and full of Mexicans. This made it all the more fun and interesting. I competed in a dance competition and won! I got to drink a beer with the Captain.

Beers with the Captain. 

We also went snorkeling and saw some amazing see life! Somewhere on Facebook or in the internet are pictures of everyone that snorkels holding a puffer fish all puffed out. (Yes, even I held the fish!)

After Huatulco, Carlee headed to Mexico City and I headed to Puerto Escondido. At this point I would like to add an appreciation for Carlee. Carlee. Thank you for coming with me on this adventure, keeping me in check and enjoying the ride. As a general note. Thank you also for being such a good friend and cohort. 

In Puerto Escondido (and in Huatulco), I got to have the Spring Break my mom has always wanted me to have. I relaxed on a beach or in a hammock and read. Which also lead to me burning and looking like a tomato but that doesn't matter I enjoyed my time to just be. I also surfed for the first time, I got up too! 

I have no photographic evidence of my actually surfing, but this will have to do. 

Then that evening (same day) I went and released a baby turtle!

This one's name is Sammy (like from the movie A Turtles Tale), other's names were Olivia, and Nicole Jr. (My host brother says her name is really Nicolasita)

After a fun night of dancing at a Salsa Club, I headed back to Oaxaca City, to do more exploring there. Monte Alban is interesting for the views, but if you are wanting to see ruins, I would suggest Mitla, and you will be able to see El Tule as well and maybe even El Hierve de Agua. (all very famous Oaxaca sites)

A view of Monte Alban.

The giant famous tree of Oaxaca. 

If you have read up to this point here are some suggestions I have for you:

1- If you go to Oaxaca City, a lot some time to do activities outside of the city center.

2- For #1, talk to your hostel or hotel staff about how to get there cheaply, do not go with a tour you encounter in the city center, you WILL pay way too much. 

3- If you want to go to Huatulco or Puerto Escondido wait to book a bus, your hostel or hotel will have information about busses or vans that will go to those cities (especially Puerto Escondido) you may even pay less for the same trip. 

4- In hostels: talk to people!!!! You will meet some amazing people from around the world and have some very interesting conversations.

My Germans

At my work I have the pleasure to work with some amazing women the teachers and the volunteers. In total I am one of four foriegn volunteers at my worksite: CIPAAC. We are all serving here for one year through various programs. We have other volunteers as well that serve for a shorter period of time and are all from the surrounding community.

I affectionately refer to my volunteer collegues as "My Germans" or "The Germans" because they are more than just the people I work with they are my closest friends. There have been many times were I needed to just talk to someone I knew was going through some of the same things as I am and they have always been there for me.

It has been a pleasure to watch these women grow and change. The changes we have experienced have not been bad or inherently good, just different. I am excited for them and can't wait to see what will do in the world. 

With Love to: Lara, Luise (aka Luigi) and Nora

Sitting on the side of La Peña during our trip to Querétaro. (Left to right: Nora, me, Lara, Luigi and Luigi's friend from Germany Linus.)

Luigi's birthday celebration in Querétaro (Left to right: Me, Luigi, Lara, and Nora)

Post Dad Blog

So I sorta did a little pre Dad visit blog by answering the questions Kelly gave me after I published my last blog. I have been thinking about the time I spent with my Dad and those questions. This blog has been sitting in my head for a bit so I apologize if my thoughts do not always make sense.

First of all my time with my Dad was AMAZING! I am so happy that he was able to come down here and spend time in my community with me. We saw many things and did a LOT of walking. Even I was exhausted after our four full days together, and I am a customed now to walking a lot and the difference in altitude. We spent a day for Puebla and took a tour bus around the historic center, then walked around the city center (zocolo), and finally went to dinner with my host family. My Dad got to eat a typical Poblano meal that I haven't even had yet! (Chile en Nogada) Then we had a day for Cholula. We even got to go to a party at my worksite where we danced the "Chacha Slide", and all the students were impressed with our skills as a pair of dancers. (The Germans are still impressed 2 weeks later that he danced at all!) On my Dad's last day we went back into Mexico City, and passed the day there. Dad's flight was REALLY early in the morning the next day, so we went to the zocolo and did a segway tour of sights in the historic center then called it a night. The tour was truly fasinating!

I learned some of the ways I have grown in during my time here in Mexico while my Dad was here. As part of my program I am enacouraged not to have a phone plan, especially one with immediate inernet access. There are some that do but there circumastances are different than mine. Since I do not have internet all the time I have little use for being on my phone except to listen to music. I also have a limited amout of contact with my family and friends in the states as well (even my friends here in Mexico I rarely talk to because our Mexican phones are hard to text/call on). This can be a good thing and a bad thing. While my Dad was here I suggested that he have an international plan soo that if we needed to find something quick or get an Uber we could. But for him this was also to have contact with people back home, primarily my stepmom and sister. His contact with family and his work was eye opening for me. I do not mean this as a critique on my Dad, but it is some thing I noticed. Every once and a while my Dad would look at his phone turn on the data and check any messages he had gotten. When we were waiting for a bus or other transport, in the car with my host family, or waiting for food we ordered to get to us. Because of this I noticed how my relationship has become one of a tool and less of a friend, by that I mean that I don't feel pulled to look at my phone as much or to use it as much to go the whole day without wifi to check emails or facebook does not bother me as much anymore. I hope that this habit will continue when I return to the United States.

While my Dad was here we did a LOT of walking. After the first day my Dad was tired physically from all the walking and was working hard to keep up with me! I have not been a very active person in recent years and would not call myself a very active person here in Mexico either. But I walk a LOT everyday. There is also a large change in altitude, to the credit of my Dad, so that affects how a person can walk and be active. However, I am very proud of myself for being able to just walk like I do and the physical growth I have done. There is a different perspective that you get when you actually walk with the people you are living a long side.

Before my Dad came he got many of the same questions I did before I came. "Oo, are you going to be safe there?" "There's a lot of violence in Mexico, aren't you worried?" What I replied with was that YAGM is not going to send me to a place that will put me in harms way, and that I will be living with a host family that will help look out for me. Mine truly does look out for me. My Dad's responces (or so he tells me) were similar to mine but not about the program his responses were about me. I was not going to let him come visit me here if I did not feel safe or that he would not be safe. He also trusted me and my host family to look out for him. As my time here goes by I have become that person that someone (my Dad of all people) can count on. I would like to think that I have been that kind of person for a while now but there is something your own father tell you "I don't know what is going on or where we are going but I trust you." that you find a new confidence in yourself.

 I have grown in many ways and hope to share more with you as I write more blog posts in the future.

I will typically put here at the bottom of my blog post a Ted talk link of a Ted I have recently watched, but this time I have not spent as much time watching those. Instead I will leave you with a book suggestion: Tattoos on the Heart. I have not yet finished it, but it is very interesting so far. If you are a person that needs a lot of good stopping points then this is a great book for you.

Questions #2

What has been the same/different about your church worship experience in your community now and your sending community? From Kelly

YAGM has an interesting relationship with the Mexican Lutheran Church. Mostly because there barely is one! Our work sites, unlike other countries, are not based out of a church (for the most part there are some exceptions). With this we are not always placed with families that are associated with the Lutheran church. My family is Evangelican. It is with them that I attend worship every week.

The biggest differences for me is the obvious change in languagethat we worship in, and less obvious, the length of each weeks' service. I have attended long Lutheran services, and this isn't as long. The length of the sermon is what makes it a difference that is hard to get used to. Every week we sing five songs, then listen to a sermon for about 45 minutes on average sometimes longer.

One of my fellow Mexico YAGMs is a lutheran semenary student. She once told me that in a class she learned that a sermon should be no more that seven to 10 minutes with "on ramps" and "off ramps" so that people can pay attention to most of the 10 minute sermon. For me the 45 minute sermon has one off ramp after about five minutes because it is in Spanish it is harder for me to keep my attention and even harder to come back into the sermon. I bring my Kindle, which has my bilingual bible on it and I follow many of the versus the pastor quotes with, but spend most of the time reading other books I have on there. I have read The Alchemist, Princess Bride, and am currently reading the White Queen. 

How do you get around? From Kelly

I use public transportation to get around my community. If I get a ride from my host family into Cholula when they take my host brother to school, I only spend about a half hour on the bus. If I do not get a ride to work I spend about 45 minutes to an hour on the bus and a lot more time waiting for the busses to come through my bus stops. I am not very fond of the bus stops, because this is where I receive the most cat calls, comments about my looks, and a host of other things I do not enjoy starting my day with, but this is only on week days. On weekends people are more relaxed and don't pay much attention to me, I get to blend in more. It takes me one bus to get to the center of Cholula, and one bus to get to the center of Puebla. If I want to go anywhere else it'll take a minimum of two.

Before my work site moved its location, I could send two hours or more on the bus every morning and afternoon. Most of which was spent standing on the busses because it is a popular route for workers and the busses were always full.

Edit: On my long commutes I have started reading more often, it was more of a chore before because I have forgotten how to enjoy reading anymore after so many years of forced reading in high school and college. It also is difficult when there are SO MANY speed bumps (topes). When I am not reading I think about my family, my communty host family and students, and I listen to music. I have been listening a lot to the album for Hamilton (Its coming to Minnesota in the fall is there anyone that wants to go with me?!) and music in Spanish to get me ready for the day of speaking Spanish.

I feel more comfortable getting around now than I did in the beginning, I am more willing to go in a direction I have never gone before just to see the things I have been wanting to see. When my dad comes next week am confident that I will know the way and not have any problems. I am interested to see how it will work out with him being much taller than me, and I have to contort myself sometimes to fit in the vans I take.

What is it like to do things on your own? From Kelly

I recently started doing more things on my own. The reaction I get from people after I tell them what I have been doing and did it alone is my favorite. Each person is almost the same: they widen their eyes, say "oh! solita?" (alone?). On Valentines Day/ Ash Wednesday, I was walking around Cholula when I happened upon a brew house that was giving out  coupons for a free beer. I had no where to be so I stopped for my free beer, all by myself. I enjoyed a beer made in Cholula. The prices of the beers they have are about twice as much as a Corona or a Victoria would be at another restuarant. I was glad that it was free. I also went to a museum by myself and today I explored an area I might bring my dad when he comes to see me in a week.

Honestly it is freeing to finally be able to just do stuff on my own. I have always been the one to wait to be invited to do stuff, or for others to have time to do them with me. I miss out on a lot like that. But doing things on my own is also very lonely, I like to take pictures and when I am alone, my pictures are either selfies, or just of the subject I am seeing. I also can feel in secure about riding transportation on my own if I am not familiar with where I am going. I am hyper cautious of where my cellphone are at all times, just in case something where to happen.

#CrazyTalk

The wall as it is made right now is a ton of metal. On the last day of being at the border we started having ideas of what we could do with all that metal. My country coordinator shared at the beginning of the year that she is a metal artist and lies to weld stuff. I thought, 'think of the art she could make with all that metal!' Or now I am thinking of the craziness my brother could weld to his truck. Another Mexico YAGM chimed in with building bridges and reenforcing our infastructure that is failing. Most of the metal is from old train rail. What if we put them back on the ground and created a better public transit system that was both a better, more reliable, way of transportation and is better for the enviornment. Or what if we put them on the ground again for train transportation and made train travel plausible/ fun again so you don't just fly over states/ communities and actually saw our great nation from seas to shining seas. 

Questions

About a month ago I asked on Facebook for people to give me some questions they would like me to answer. I will answer a few now:

From Grandma Wahl: Do I feel safe?
Yes, in general I feel safe. My host family here watches over me like a hawk some days, so if I do something they think could put me in danger, like walking at night. (Which is hard not to do when the sun goes down really early.) They do not hesitate to tell me. I even have a few moms of my students watching out for me and always asking me how I am doing. We just had another big earthquake, so those tend to freak me out a little bit, but that is mostly beecause they are still so foreign to me. We don't earthquakes up there in Tornado Alley.

From Aunt Marilyn: Are you fluent in Spanish?
Oh no! I am far from being fluent, but I am much better than I was when I arrived here in Mexico. It is amaziing to see how all of my cohort has improved by being immersed in the language. It used to annoy me when people would talk to me in English, I felt like it was a learning opportunity taken away from me, until some friends made me realize somethings. Mexico has a culture of hospitality, a stranger would bend over backwards for you if you needed it, and speaking in English is a way of making me feel comfortable. I also have realized that for some it is a time for them to practice their English. I have made a friend that he and I have an agreement that we sometimes speak English for his practice and sometimes Spanish for my practice. I have another friend, that he speaks English to me and I speak Spanish to him so we both get practice everytime we see each other.

From Yisrael (a host brother of my cohort/friend): What is my passtime?
I was taking dance classes but that became to much of a hazard since the classes started after it was already dark and I would get home late. It was also putting a strain on my relationship with my host parents since they were always worried about me and I felt like a rebel teenager that just wanted to do her own thing. I never was very good at being a rebel teenager, so I stopped doing dance classes. Now I am doing an Herbalife Fit Club that starts earlier in the afternoon and I am surrounded by supportive women always! They are amazing. I just am having a hard time staying out of the full Herbalife. The shakes and stuff is not something I am interested in starting right now in Mexico. There is too much tastey food to try that does not fit into their meal plans.

Post Border Retreat

The YAGM Mexico group is on our way back to Mexico from our border immersion/ mid year retreat. Because we do not have long term visas and can be in Mexico for six months on a tourist visa we needed to renew our visas for the last six months of our year. If you read further down if my blog you will see that I wrote a pre border trip reflection. I did not post this on Facebook because I was nervous about the reactions I could get from those that read it. I still am nervous but feel more empowered to share my thoughts. 

This trip has been the most exhausting experience I have ever had before. Both emotionally and physically exhausting. We had a full schedule that we were bouncing from organization to organization and information heavy conversation (in Spanish) to information heavy conversation (in English, this switches make my head spin often times). On top of the schedule, all but two of the group was sick with a cold for the whole week. I carried a roll of toilet paper the whole week! When I got to see my mom for a few hours, she gave me a box of Kleenex, it was like having a cloud on my face! 

There is many parts of the border we do not hear about from the media. In this time we are hearing more than we ever did before. When I arrived at the border and saw the fence or wall (whatever you want to call it, I will call it a wall) I thought it was natural that we had it and that it had been there forever. But the wall has only been up since 2012.  It does not cover the whole southern border but covers large parts and cities in the United States that or on the border like Douglas. These fortress like protection for the United States forces migrants to go to places in the dessert that are even more dangerous. The danger comes from dangerously high temperatures in the open desert, cartel contol of that area, and many other situations. Notice that this does NOT stop migrants from coming. The enviornment that migrants are coming into is not one that they would be going into if they felt like they had a choice. Whether the trip is dangerous or not they will come not because they want to but because they often feel they have to, to escape violence, poverty, and a host of other situation we as Americans will never fully understand.

(Photo: Bryan is 6'2" and as you can see this wall is significantly taller than him. I would estimate that at least two of him could fit in the height of the wall.)

Throughout the week we met with people that had been migrants, were guides/drug smugglers, are migrating or have found what they need in AP. I was amazed with the conversations I had with each of them. They were so willing to share with us and talk with us. They were also very interested in where we were coming from. I pobably said where I was from, were I live in Mexico, and what I do hear three times every day. It was like when we were all in orientation, and visiting with other work sites, except my Spanish is much better, so I did not dread saying this over and over as much. Each conversation showed a glimps of God and a reminder that each is a child of God. 

(Photo: Walking in the desert to the wall on the Mexican side to fill water jugs. Unfortunately the jug we were going to fill was stolen, I can only hope that person really needed it, because others that will pass were it was will likely need the water in it as well. We walked through the desert with CREEDA, an organization run by and for people with drug and alcohol addiction. Many have migrated to the U.S before.)

On Tuesday we went to a vigil for migrants who have died in the desert. There were about 15 people at the vigil in Douglas. Each person held up a cross and said the name on it. We took turns doing this until all the names were shouted. We did this along the road going to Mexico. There were people that rolled down their windows to thank us for having the vigil, or honked their horns. After all but three names had been called out we held a rememberance for a man, a woman and an unidentified person. This was a powerful vigil as we stood only a few yards from the border entrance to Mexico on the side of the wall that held so much promise and hope for these migrants that died.

(Photo: The Mexican side of the Wall. Looks a lot different right. There is life and beauty that is thriving on this side, unlike the US side with the most expensive dirt road you'd probably ever see.)

The next day was like a whiplash from despair to hope. We met with Cafe Justo, a fair trade coffee company that works with migrants from Chiapas, Veracruz and Oaxaca. These states are known for their coffee production, but in the last 30 years there was a drop in the price of coffee. Many coffee farms had to close forcing the farm hands to leave their communities and families to find work. This affects a host of social issues, that goes into the reason people migrate, and indiginous culture. Cafe Justo works with these migrants coming from coffee farms to buy their coffee at a fair price. This fair trade is even skipping Wall Street and getting the price the growers need strait from them. They send the beans from Chiapas to Agua Prieta to be roasted and distributed. They now have a fabulous coffee shop, and send their coffee to (mostly congregations) all over the United States. Cafe Justo is taking action for the many times we say, "Well there should be a change in [country with lots of people emigrating] so they don't have to migrate."

They also have AMAZING coffe if you are interested you should check out their website and order a bag!
Cafe Justo

(Photo: Big bags for coffee hours at church and little for the everyday use, or for some thats the other way around.)

I now understand why alumni have told me they have been changed but did not tell me how, I have no idea how I have changed, but know in my heart there is something different.

Pre boarder retreat

Tomorrow I leave for Mexico City tomorrow and Arizona on Sunday.

I cannot believe this is happening tomorrow. I have known since April 2017 at our Disernment, interview and placement (DIP) event that we would be going to Arizona in the middle of our YAGM year, but when we got here it seemed so far away. It felt like it would never come.

Before big events like this I like to make some refections about how I am feeling before and how I think I could grow from the experience. I did this for my internship paper. (It was to fluff it up, make it longer, but this is genuine.)

At DIP I was immediately nervous about the trip. I have lived my whole life either not thinking much about the boarder, or believing that the people that cross the boarder without a passport or visa were doing wrong because the law said that this was wrong. Now I have always been and still am a believer in changing the law through lobbying, and electing compatant people to offices in all levels of governement. But in order to do that the people that vote, meaning people like me and most of the people that are reading this blog, need to know whats going on. Meaning we need to know who we are voting for and what issues they are going to work for while they are in office. And if they do not do what we, the public voted them in to do, we change who is in office.

After being in Mexico for five and a half months. I've learned a few things and met a peope that have immigrated. I continue to be nervous for this trip but not like before. Before, I was nervous that this trip would put me into situations and make me do things to promote a life choice I did not agree with. Now, I am nervous about how much more this trip will change me. Alumni have said that this trip will change you, that it is hard emotionally and that they felt differently about the world when they got back to Mexico. Even my host parents say their former YAGM daughters were different after the trip. But NO ONE is telling me how they all changed. I can't prepare myself if I don't know what is a head of me!

That is not to say that I don't know what we are doing each day, I do have the schedule, but I don't know how our activities will form me. I feel like I am ground beef waiting to be smashed into some kind of form, but I don't know what form I will be in the end. Will I be a hamburger, a Juicy Lucy, a meat loaf, meat balls, or put in some kind of mixture like a tator tot hot dish. (If I'm going to write something controversial I'm going to put a controvercial word in it: Hotdish, thats the proper way to say it not casserole!)

My opinion of the people that cross the boarder have also changed. I have met migrants from Central America here in Mexico that have no plans to go to the United States and others that have already been there. Several women I have become friends with have husbands or friends or loved ones that are living somewhere in the United States. Some don't know exactly where their person is, but everyone tells me something a long the lines of "He's working for us." This is the reality. The United States offers opportunities to do work for a higher wage.

My host mom and I have had several conversations about the wages you can make as a minimum wage worker in the United States and what that translates to in Mexico. This morning I was looking through my stuff and found $5. This money doesn't buy much, but that is about 100 peso! I can almost pay for an entire week's worth of commutes to and from work. I can buy two full meals. I can buy a LOT of tacos from the stand in the town center (30 small, probably 15 medium depending on the kind of meat I want). I can almost buy a cheap bus to Mexico City!

For this I can understand a tiny fraction of why someone would risk their lives, spend their life savings and cross into a country that in general is very hostile to them to earn a liveable wage that they can support their family.

I highly recommend reading: The Devil's Highway by Luis Alberto Urrea.  Much of my change of thought has come from this book and humanised every human involved in crossing the Mexican-US boarder, from the migrants to the boarder patrol agents that guard this boarder. Both groups are often made inhuman by media.
A Ted Talk for you because I love them: A story of Darfur
I chose this talk because it is not just Mexicans or people from Latin America that are coming to the United States. There are people around the world that are coming to the U.S. seeking a better life, or looking to the U.S. for help out of bad situations in their own country, their home.

I like to Move it move it

If you recieve my newsletters or open it on Facebook you will already know that my last letter had the theme of my challenges and joys here in Mexico. I wish that I had been able to wait just a little bit longer to have some of the challenges and joys from my work site fresh in my mind when I wrote and sent that.

I work at a school for adults with different abilities. They range from Autism (at all levels), to Down Syndrom, to tramatic brain injuries. I have not learned all about the different abilities my students have, but some are know without hearing it directly. My job at the school is to help the teachers and students with everyday activities, and I teach English to four students.

Teaching English is much different than speaking it! But that is a blog post in it of itself.

In the last month CIPAAC (my school's name) has been changing its location. Last year the main school was held in Puebla, in a house they had made into a school like setting. It was nice and cozy for the students they have. But the students they have grew up and now need more space. The school administration has aspirations to have a larger school, to help more students and to build a community of independent adults with different abilities. So they built a school.

This is the school.

Almost all of the student we had in Puebla moved with us to this new school in San Andreas, a city near Puebla but still far away for many. They travel over an hour every day to get to school. 

Before the big move I asked a teacher if the students were going to have a hard time with the change and she said no, but the teachers are all going to have some hard times with it. I had my doubts about the students not having a hard time, but the teachers I could believe. They had been talking about the length of their commute and the cost of bus fairs they were going to have to pay now (most lived within walking distance of the school before) long before I arrived here in Mexico and only got more vocal about it as the time came closer. 

The first week of school was hard for everyone I think, and now we are only completing week two and the routines have still not been solidified. In week, one we did not have many students yet because many were still on vacation, but the ones we had were behaving irradically. They were confused about were they were the bathroom is, where they should put their stuff, and sit in their new classroom. One of the students became so upset with the big change, that she was inconsolable and flailed and scratched teachers that tried to help her. Other students ran around in the now gated yard we have, in a fashion no one could determine was happy or angry. 

The teachers have gotten used to the distance they are traveling every morning, but they looked much more tired and have started to make coffee everyday. Something they hardly ever did in the old school. The teachers are still finding out how they want to set up their classrooms and how they will incorperate the old materials they had with the new ones that was bought with donations for the move. 

It is all very confusing and with time things will smooth out. 

First One

So, I am new to this whole blogging idea, and wasn't going to do it for my YAGM year. Except after talking to a friend and fellow YAGM (alumna), I decided I would give it a try.

To start the title of my blog is in Spanish because, well I'm in Mexico. It means "Am I doing this right?" It's a loaded question that I find myself asking myself a lot. Am I saying the right thing or in the right way? Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing? Am I making a blog right? I've never done anything like this so it's natural to have these doubts.

Now, I want to put a disclaimer out about the future content of my blog. I am a stranger in a strange land, and can only report about what I see and experience from my perspective. This by no means makes it the absolute truth. It is only one story, my story of Mexico. (I recommend this Ted Talk Danger of a Single Story by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie to hear a more articulate explaination of this idea.) Basically, I am asking that you remember that I am just one person that is only living in Mexico for 11 months, so I will not always get everything perfectly accurate but I can share some of MY experiences.

Here's a picture of a giant pinata. It was up in the Zocolo of Mexico City.